Busy, busy busy. And that's a GREAT thing. Christmas and New Year's was so much fun. I got to return to Wedgwood for several services, Talitha and about 20 friends gathered for a New Year's party at my apartment (a nice, hot, lack of things to do kind of party, but fun), and then I jumped into school and- FINALLY- a job!
William Isaiah Harris was born to proud mama Talitha and Aunt Laura on Tuesday, April 13 weighing 8lbs, 1oz, 22 inches long. Mom and baby are doing fabulous, praise God!
I officially regisered as a double major in history and theatre. What does that mean? I'm enjoying my college classes (with the exception of math, of course). My theatre class was by far my favorite, mainly because... I don't even know! I took peformance I, and I thought I was going to hate it. I tried and tried and tried to be an actress for years, only to discover, that's not my talent. I am a writer and a director. So, this class scared the peewaddlydo out of me. But my teacher, Dr. Lorenzo Garcia (whoo!) has been wonderful and my classmates very encouraging. (I even got a bravo from the professor as one of my grades!) I expect a high GPA at the end of this semester. Next spring, I could potentially graduate with my history degree and return to keep working on my theatre, or I could just stay and keep working on both. I'm still figuring it out.
I did have the opportunity to tutor international students in English which has been wonderful. I hope to continue over the summer and next year. I now have a private tutor teaching me how to read and write (and speak better) in Romanian. Her name is Anca. (Hi Anca!)
I worked all semester at H & R Block as part of my journey to becoming my mother. There were many wonderfully people there (and some very crazy ones too!). I just pray I was an assesst to them (at least on the days when I didn't mess up) and maybe a shining light in an office every American wishes didn't need to exist. I plan to return next year, especially since I don't have another job yet. (I have many interviews in the next 2 weeks, but nothing that pays just a whole lot. Please pray!)
I am currently taking a Red Cross Lifeguarding Class to recertify me as a lifeguard (who knew after 2 years I could still swim the 500 and my hair would still be green?!) But I'm loving it. Lifeguarding is a definite possibility this summer.
I am also La Presidente of People of Power, the street team for 89.7 Power FM. We have had a blast doing lots of servant evangelism and promoting the station. (Listen to 89.7 Power FM!) Kristal (with a K) rocks!
including stuff about open auditions, which has me stressed and excited and ready to go! We're doing the True Love Waits rally at Reunion Arena on June 26 (please come!), a kids' revival in July, and camp yet again in August. After that, I'm just waiting for God to lead. We're new, we don't know what we're doing, and I don't know who "we" is yet exactly. But man, it is exciting to start what I will be doing for the rest of my life!
My summer travel plans are very, very boring. I'm not going anywhere. I have classes all summer, D*R*A*M*A stuff, and hopefully the best job ever! But, I am almost completly out of debt and already saving for traveling all next summer.
I need your prayers! Thanks!
And I will also be diligent that at any time after my departure you will be able to call these things to mind.
I Peter 1:15
For the Mighty One has done great things for me; HOLY is His name.
Luke 1:49
September 2001:
The first three weeks of college have just flown by for Laura. She is loving college and everything it has to offer. She is taking 13 hours at the University of North Texas as she works through to a masters in Journalism and a minor in history. She also recently got a call from Talitha and they are emailing back and forth once again. Laura doesn't get to talk much with her friends back home, like Lindsay or Misty- everyone is just so busy. She also refuses to speak with Stephanie- that ended badly when several lies came to the surface and Laura got fed up having to discern the truth every single day. At UNT she has begun working for the NT Daily, the UNT school newspaper, which is a paid position. Laura has also joined 3 different Bible Studies on campus, and the gospel choir. She has made many friends and is looking forward to See You At The Pole in mid September. She also feels called to do a One Body event at UNT so as to bring all the Christians together as there is much division, and this campus is very dark. She remains busy with YCMT, writing their scripts, and even writing a little for Teen Drama which started up again this semester. She has joined the drama team at her new church, Grace Temple Baptist Church, and is running lights and sound during their church services. Lastly, she has been given the opportunity to serve in Chinaall next summer. She covets prayers as she tries to raise the money and follow the call of God.
December 2001:
This is an email Laura sent out just the other day. " I've been asked to start a youth drama group for the next semester, but that's still in the works. I am currently employed at the school newspaper (so yes, I get paid.), the North Texas Daily. I am a staff writer. I own my first TV, and I mostly watch Buffy, Angel, Buffy reruns on FX (I also got cable for the first time.) I am very involved on campus in 2 Bible studies and a prayer group. I also have an accountability partner here, her name is Gin. The Holidays, my fav time of year, are also my busiest. I've written 3 dramas for Grace Temple, which will be performed at Christmas on the Square, Denton's citywide Christmas party on Dec 9, 6-9pm. I'm also working on an Easter musical, a life of Christ passion play. I walked into Wedgwood for the first time in months the other day, and was asked to write and direct the youth musical which will be performed Dec. 16 at 6:30 pm. (God is truly wonderful, no writer's block!) The last script I have to work on is one for a church here in Denton that I've never been to, but the topic is what if Jesus had never been born? Oh and school (to appease my parents, I add that one in occasionally).
I've taken up several hobbies while in college, including stain glass painting, letter writing (expect a hand wrteen not here shortly), collecting Buffy the Vampire Slayer memorabillia . I have finished all of my Christmas shopping already. I was recently adopted by a family in Denton, the Deatons. They have a daughter who is in the youth group and a son at A & M.
I have no boyfriend nor anyone that I'm even slightly interested in- who has the time?! And that is just a big blessing from God, I'm focused on Him and the work He has for me here. My grades are all good except in Algebra-
This summer I will, most likely, spend all summer in Asia doing missions work. Teaching English is a big possibility. Do I know how much it will cost? At least $2200. My heart has always been for missions, and that's where i want to be. Over seas.
As always, everything isn't completly perfect. I've had a hard time making "real friends". I feel torn between my best friends since middle school (who sometimes ignore me now that I live so far away) and these people I feel I barely know- and who know NOTHING about me. Sometimes, that's avery good thing. Leaving your past behind you. (Hakuna matta) But sometimes, it also makes you feel hard to be understood and... best friendless. But God has just been so awesome. My best friend, Talitha, up and called me the other day after a no-speaking time of 3 years. It was cool, we werte and email all the time now. But, no one really here that I've just clicked with. Gin is the closest. But I just don't have the guts to open up like I use to. (There is something to say about silence. And mystery.) It's also been hard being away from Wedgwood. I was so excited to get to go home for the anniversay (of the shooting, Sept. 15), but then I didn't ger to go back until Thanksgiving. (Grace keeps me busy) While at home, I realized just how much I missed being around people with that much passion, that much fire, and that much understanding of just how the shooting is a part of me, my walk, my spiritual life. (In good, victory-in-Jesus kind of ways). Sometimes, at Grace and at my Bible studies, I feel like a freak. "I'm that girl from Wedgwood, you know, the church where the shooting happened." But, going home is always good for the soul. Not always easy, things change while you're gone, but other things don't. That's nothing against Grace or my Bible studies, it is my prayer they never understand what I went through. Or any of you, for that matter. (Or some of you, to never experience it again.)"
11-30-01
March 2002:
It's now spring break here at UNT, and Laura's life is very different than it use to be. She recently quit the Daily so to have more time for herself, for God, and for the D.R.A.M.A. team at Grace. D.R.A.M.A. stands for Disciples Running Around Madly Acting. She is also back at Jamba Juice (mostly on the weekends) and spends almost 25 hours a week working on stuff for Grace Temple. She is very happy in her singleness, though, as always, she struggles. But, her plans for the summer are very full. She will go to New Orleans with the youth of Grace on a mission trip, and then to Romania to care for orphans. She is very excited.
Classes are going well. She expects to have a high GPA and feels like she is learning a lot at UNT. She is looking forward to the D.R.A.M.A. retreat in April and then to summer vacation.
Summer 2002:
Laura's first year in college is over and she is loving every minute of summer vacation. The hi-light of the year was the D*R*A*M*A retreat the last weekend in April. It was an absolute blast, she and the kids grew closer together, and they all learned a lot. She finished the year with a 3.8 GPA and is only eight hours from being a junior.
The summer is full of plans for mission trips to Romania and New Orleans, working at Jamba Juice, talking with old friends, and D*R*A*M*A work. She continues to pray that Tuan will accept Christ (praise! He got involved in a church at college!) and that she can get a job she truly loves and considers a joy- not just a pay check.)
It's not all been easy. She finally gave up on those old friends from high school and is determined to finally make some new ones that she can draw closer to. She, Talitha, Stephen and Matt still hang out and are working on making their friendships stronger than ever. As always, being single isn't always fun, but it sure is the best thing she's ever committed to. The next few weeks hold lots of excitement that she can't wait to share with all of you!
June 2002:
The trip to New Orleans was just incredible. The kids worked really hard at the Carver Center, and leaving them at the end of the week was so very hard. The youth also experienced true worship at Franklin Avenue Baptist Church and got the fire to bring that home to Grace. They also spent 2 night walking along Bourban street and around Jackson square witnessng to people and seeing the lives these people are chosing without knowing God. For many of them, it was an eye opening and a get it in gear experience. The spirit of God was heavy on this trip, and the reality of spiritual warefare was felt by every member of the team. Lastly, the D*R*A*M*A team is planning a full week of just a D*R*A*M*A tour there next year, because D*R*A*M*A was very effective on the street.
July 2002:
I have successfully completed my first trip over seas, and without doubt, forgin missions is where my heart is. I plunged MYself as much as possible into the language and the culture of Romania (Hungary was just a nice tourist stop). With only one paragraph, it's impossible to give you all a true feeling of that trip.
There was much dancing, much laughing, much prayer, and much spiritual growth. And that was before we met the orphans.
The first full day was shopping and going to the baby orphanage. Our job there was to touch, to hold, and to sing to babies who don't get that. I opted to go to Quarantine because that's just where God wanted me. New arrivals and very sick babies. I saw babies with hydro-siphulis, water on the brain. Their heads were about 3 feet by 2 feet big, and they were just laying around, waiting to die.
Once at camp, without "normal" bathrooms, with camp food (yuck!), and w/out showers (most days), God taught me how to love. Language barriers disappeared day by day, the kids just craved love, and we were able to show them a little about God. Their perfect heavenly Father who wants to adopt them.
One of my favorite moments was sitting with one of my kids, Alin, as he just rocked himself- a symptom of not having been touched as a child. Suddenly he stopped, and just looked at me with thisjust angelic face. He smiled, and study my eyes, and it was if he was saying thank you, thank you for loving me. It made the whole trip worth it.
My other favorite moment was when the Romanians and I performed the story of The Three Trees all in Romanian (Copaci 3). With kids who can't even sit still for candy, I worried if they would be able to follow an 8 minute play on the last day of camp. But they did, they cheered when Jesus rose from the grave, and they just ate it up. Next year, they want more skits for the kids. To take something that was so beautiful in English in an American church, to take that, change the language, put it on a muddy ground with a bunch of muddy kids as the audience, and to have the spirit of God fall with even more power, it's an experience as an actress, as a believer, and as a missionary that I will never forget.
My last favorite moment was when we prayed over each child one by one, and onthe last one, a couple of tears slipped over my checks. All week I had been working really hard to breakthrough to my little girl, Viorika. She was very tuff, and even made fun of other kids when they cried. But this time, as I held her and my tears fell on her face, she opened her eyes, and ever so gently wiped my tears away. She showed me love. That was an answer to a major prayer.
If you want to hear more about what God did, or would like to know how you can bring God to the oprhans of Romania (a country that struggles to support "least of these"), please contact me or check out www.buckner.org. That's the organization working all over the world to help children, youth, and adults.
Traveste duamne Romania!
Everyone do the Misi, everyone do the Ionci! hehehe.
I plan to return in January, perhaps next summer (that's up to God), and I want to one day take the Grace Temple youth there as the music minister of Wedgwood Baptist, John Frank took a group one year ago. I am praying God will provide the way for that dream to become a reality.
November 2002:
It's been a long time since I had a free moment to update my web page. So much has happened since I got off the airplane from Romania.
First, I've gone into publie education as my current job ocupation. I'm a special education teacher's aide at Newton Rayzor Elementary, and, more or less, I love my job. Some days I hate it, some days I think I work in heaven, but for the most part, I survive with a small smile. The biggest help at my job is the knowledge that I am part of the YaYa sister hood. I love my sistas!
I decided to be a part time student at UNT while working at Rayzor, and even that has proven hard to keep up with. But I'll keep going, don't worry. It's too hypocritical for an educatior to drop out of her own education.
I've remained busy busy busy at Grace with the D*R*A*M*A team and being a youth worker. Our beloved youth minister, Norman, recently stepped down from his position, so we rely on God even more now. Norman left me in charge of many things, including Disciple Now weekend, True Love Waits, and Mission Trip. As you can see, I NEED your prayers.
Because I took this teaching position, I can't return to Romania in January. I will be spending my entire Christmas break over there, assuming we don't go into a shooting war with Iraq. (Please pray for peace in the Middle East!)
Lastly, at the end of October, I moved into my NEW APARTMENT! I really wasn't looking into moving out until either December or the summer, but God just opened a door in the perfect location at the perfect price. Oh, and I finally left adolecence on Oct. 2, my 20th birthday.
I am very excited about my new life as a short term foregin missionary, full time youth volunteer, full time teacher's aide, and part time struggling college student. God is doing many wonderful things in my life, and I hope my life is a pleasing thank you to Him.
Merry Christmas everyone!
Y
A
Y
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February 2003:
Well, happy new year!
Because of airline problems, my trip to Romania was postponed until March. The good news on that is I now have more time to collect the needed items! (I actually got a guitar! Wow, God is good!)
Life is in full swing right now. Grace Temple is having it hard these days, but we just brought a new youth minister on board. Things are looking up. True Love Waits is February 5 (6:30p.m., it's free, come come come!), the weekend right after that is Disicple Now and I have the pleasure of leading a small group of high schoolers. (I'm so excited, we're going to Student Life for the big event and doing a more personal DNow after the sessions.) Then, I focus on returning to Romania in March, then Easter, and finals.
I'm still working at Rayzor, but I've put in for a transfer to either the middle school or the high school. I want to be closer to the youth, and away from the short little annoying people. Plus, they go to school later than elementary school. More sleep time!
Well, I love my classes this semester. I'm in a history class (American Revolution) and a poetry class. I think I might get back on the dean's list this year.
The apartment is going good. I LOVE living alone!
Lastly, please pray I win the publisher's clearing house sweepstakes on Feb. 14. It's 10million dollars, and I'd just really like to win.
Thanks so much for stopping by!
April 2003:
What to say, what to say...
Things are just as busy as always, and I can't wait until school and college both end so I can get on with my summer plans!
True Love Waits was a great success, and though not all went as planned, many lives were touched. Then, the youth of Grace Temple and the new youth minister embarked on the adventure of Student Life/Disciple Now Weekend. It was awesome! Great worship, good speaker, incredible drama, and then I got to meet with my group of high schoolers and Josh Rife. God really worked through that weekend, and I can't wait to see how these kids start changing their world, and their church, for Jesus.
Things at Rayzor Elementary are not so hot, so if everyone could just pray for that situation(s), I would appreciate it. I am currently looking for another position at another school (elementary nor special ed is not for me) or just a brand new job that pays the bills and is a little less demanding on my time and energy. But I still love my ya-ya sisters! (If it wasn't for them, I would have given up a long time ago.)
Romania was amazing! I miss them so much! I've created a new page that talks about my mission trips, click here to go to that page. But it is enough to say that I, once again, fell in love with the people, the scenery, and of course, the children.
My summer plans need great amounts of prayer. I want to go to China for the month of June, and then over to Romania before heading home for youth camp in Colorado. All of this cost A LOT of money. Around $3500. (If you feel lead to help me out, please give a click here for more information.)
Right now, I am focusing on work, school, and D*R*A*M*A! They are doing so many exciting things, and it just continues to be an honor to work with so many awesome people!
Lastly, my thoughts and prayers are with the troops fighting, especially PFC Jeremy Bland, my friend.
Summer 2003:
I did it- I survived the 2002-2003 school year! Wha-hoo!!! Yea for me!! Alllll riiiggghhhttt!!! (If you can't tell, I'm happy to have finished what I committed to do, and I am so extatic that it is finally over!)
And now I am greatly enjoying my 2nd week of summer vacation.
College classes ended about a month ago, and yes, happy those are over too. I'm still a B student, so everybody breath a sigh of relief.
None of those summer plans that I had cooked up worked out (mostly due to the SARs epidemic). So, I'm not signed up for any summer classes, I don't have a summer job lined up, and I have no mission trips to look forward to. I am bored out of my mind! (So, if any old friends I haven't talked to in a while wish to hang out or call me to chat, I'd love to hear from you!)
I'm mostly bored because I gave my beloved D*R*A*M*A team the summer off. So many of them were getting overworked and stressed out, so we're taking our first vacation in 2 yearrs. I just don't know what to do with myself, really. But it's okay. It's giving me time to work on the D*R*A*M*A room, watch the mural get finished, watch our very own D*R*A*M*A closet get finished, and write, write, write! And I get to spend a lot of time praying for these kids and for our church. Boy! Are we ever in need of prayer.
It's been a tough semester there at Grace Temple, but God is not done with us! We lost our church secretary, children's minister, music minister, and we're still without a permanent pastor. The new youth minister and I got off to a rocky start, but I know God i in control no matter what. But as I've discussed with other members and brothers and sisters- God is not going to "restore" GTBC until we are fully dependent on Him. He will not share His glory with some pastor or some Baptist program. And it's taking a lot of individuals breaking down the barriers and getting themselves real with God to make it all happen for the church as a whole. A lot of people have left, lots of people actually. But that's okay. Because God is still God and He has still callled a few of us to serve and minister to one another in His name.
Becuase of everything that's happened, I started working about 20 hours a week in the church office, just volunteering and trying to help out. Answering the phone, making copies, and cutting out stuff is mostly what my job description says, but it's fun.
I'm also doing a lot with another church, Victory Christian, here in Denton. They want to start a drama team of their own, so it's been exciting working with Victor and the "V double CC" crew over there on Wednesdays. In fact, I'm going to youth camp with them thefirst part of July. How very exciting, I know!
I've also started a new workout program to try and work off those depression pounds gained over this school year. (Those 15-20 pounds didn't end up in a very flattering spot!)
That's about it. The next school year starts in late August, and I'm thinking about just substitute teaching for a while, if it'll pay the bills. I'm taking a full course load, so it should keep me fairly entertained. Hope everything is going great with y'all! God bless.
November 2003:
Well, summer flew by as I spent a lot of time doing nothing. I worked on a regular basis in the church office. We finally got a new pastor, Dr. Jeff Krammer. He's been really good for us, so life is returning. Camp with V-CC was awesome, and I loved spending the two weeks before doing nothing but drama practice and devotional writing. When we got back, though, God told me my place was at Grace Temple, and I returned to start working on our D*R*A*M*A Camp. That was a really awesome week for me and the junior high girls. It was, unfortunately, the same week as band camps and what not. I personally learned a lot and was excitedly looking forward to resuming practice and directing. I even took a road trip to see Talitha in Austin. She is going to have a baby in April, which is exciting, and she is supposedly staying with me over Christmas. I'm looking forward to that. I was happy to see my friend Jeremy Bland return safely from fighting in Iraq.
Well, school is back in session, and I'm now fully an adult (turned 21 on October 2). I got a new couch for my birthday, a sleeper sofa (so people can come stay overnight with me!)
Life is not so good, though, to be honest. D*R*A*M*A was disbanded because it was more important to seek unity in our church, among many other reasons. I am told it is not forever, but I'm also told to let it go. It's hard not feeling depressed when my life passion is gone and I'm told to find something else to offer the church. I started working with Wedgwood's new adult drama team, but I can't go to meetings for the next month because I'm working in the nursery at Grace Temple (gotta make some money). I have applied everywhere, including Wal-Mart, and yet I remain unemployed. This means I have no money, and no chance of a mission trip over Christmas or sring break. Basically, my life is pretty depressing right now. Nothing to look forward to but school.
School is okay, not my favorite place on the planet, but at least it gets me out of the house regularly. I am enjoying my theatre appreciation class because I get to see a lot of plays. My post World War II Europe (history) class is interesting but a lot of work. Sign Language and Psycology are easy but full of a lot of busy work.
I am keeping up my regular fitness routine with Pilate's. I've seen some results, but I need to work a little harder to get back in shape. I'm sick of being compared to J Lo.
So, I'm not entirely sure what God is doing, but it really sucks and I'm not a lot of fun to be around these days. I'm just counting down the days until Christmas, when I can decorate my apartment with pretty things and school will finally be over. Maybe by then I will be out of this funk and enjoying life. Hope it's going better for y'all.
My summer has been about what I expected it to be. I did not travel very far, but I have experienced some exciting events.
In May, I helped Talitha and my angelboy William move to Tennesee. So, yes, I have missed them (and roadtrips to Austin) very, very much.
June was filled by two things- summer school (a theatre class) and D+R+A+M+A's debute performance at Reunion Arena. Well, I made a B in the class, with high praise from the teacher, and we got thunderous applause for our presentation "The Gift" at the True Love Waits rally. An absolutely amazing experience. First of all, an awesome event. But to be a part of it as the only theatre portion... wow. Words cannot express what it was like, as the director and writer, to watch them conclude the final scene (salvation scene followed by the wedding night) and to hear all the applause and see my team's shinning faces as they exited the stage.
July was a lot less exciting. I worked for the cities of Denton and Addison teaching swim lessons and lifeguarding. (I did make a little money to go towards all of D+R+A+M+A's bills/'start up costs'.) We held D+R+A+M+A camp and welcomed in new members both from the Reunion Arena rally and camp itself.
I finally said good-bye to Grace Temple Baptist Church once and for all in early August. I moved my membership back to Wedgwood, another churh battling Satan on many fronts right now within the body, but a place I will always call home. I hope to get invovled with the youth group as a youth worker, once I get my own walk secure under me. (I have some healing to do after GTBC.)
Currently, I am working (as a lifeguard and babysitter) and looking forward to open auditions in September and the fall semester starting. Not much excitment over school, but at least the school year will give the team members more structure as far as attendance and time management. (We've had a little problem with attendance after Reunion Arena.) I am also looking forward to whatever work I can secure for fall. I plan to return to H & R Block for tax season.
Gee, what else? I guess that's it. All I did this summer was wear a swim suit and work my tail off for the ministry. (I worked really hard on the webpage, so you should check that out at www.DisciplesRunningAroundMadlyActing.org)
I know that hearing about all this must be boring for most people, so I'll end this entry by asking for your prayers and any encouraging words you can share via my guest book. Thanks and God bless!
November 18, 2004
I figured it was about time I updated the 5 or so people who read this about what's going on in my life.
Well, D+R+A+M+A is off and running. We've done at least 2 things every month since the end of September, which is great (and exhausting). And more opportunities, both of theatre and "regular" evangelism, just keep pooring in. It's really hard at times to direct such a dynamic and versitle group. Over the last two weeks or so, I have come to some important conclusions. Directing D+R+A+M+A is not what I will be doing for the rest of my life. I love it, and I believe I was called to start D+R+A+M+A, to get it up and going in a sense. But it is not where I want to be 5 years from now. I want to always be involved with them, travel with them (or they travel to wherever I'm serving), and more than anything, write for them. Maybe, if another director comes along and I'm still around, maybe I'd do a show or two as technical director or even actress (gasp!). I have so many plans and dreams for this team, and yet I am so underqualified and sooo tired. We'll just see where God takes me and the team in the future. I trust Him, it'll be okay.
89.7 Power FM (listen and/or give money online at www.897powerfm.com) is going great. I got to spend a week at the station helping with Share-a-thon. (Sure wish I could have helped more, you know, by taking more calls...) Then, I got to stick around and do the all request show with some of the street team, People of Power! That just rocked. Kristal with a K and Eddie with the rock star scream are the greatest! (Jade and Drew and Chris and Dawn and Matt and Jeff are all really neat too. But let's face it- Bonnie's the one holding it together. Hey to all those KVTT people, too!)
I'm back at Wedgwood, praying and thinking about where my place to serve is. (Time and distance greatly limit me, but when God says serve, you serve.) I'm praying about- and ask for your prayers- helping in youth ministry and the creative arts stuff with the worship ministry. Both are great opportunities, and I just don't know where or what God wants me doing His work.
School is...well, I'm still there. It's going okay, I wish it were over. I finally got my degree plans through, so an official estimated graduation date in May 2007. I'm going to be killing myself taking 19 hours a semester and full loads each summer to see if I can get out any sooner, but whatever.
I've been unemployed (except for baby-sitting and teaching theatre at Denton Enrichment Center) since September. Next semester, I hope to return to H & R Block and continue with DEC. It doesn't pay a whole lot, but the people are good and my parents are still, well, feeding, clothing, and housing me, so...
Speaking of family, my sister joined the Marines. She leaves for boot camp in July. My mother is freaked, my dad says nothing, and Brittney doesn't want to talk about it. I figure we could always try to get her married and knocked up between now and then, but marines, it may not be so bad. (Maybe the non-war with Iraq will be over by then.)
Friends are good. Matt's graduating college in December, Talitha and William are doing well in Tennesse, and another name-less friend is engaged with a July wedding date. I miss my friends! (I'm jealous! Graduating, kids, engaged...) But, me and my new friend Jonathon are going to see the TransSiberian Orchestra in December, which will rock!
So, that's about it. I'm single, I love it, I have almost no free time and even less money, but, well, it's safe to say that for now, I'm surviving. That's about as good as it gets these days.
I am looking forward to Christmas and having the month of January off as my "vacation" from school and D+R+A+M+A. I might go visit friends in other states (no money, but maybe...), or just get ahead on school work. Hopefully, I'll write more, go to church more, and maybe even hang out with friends more. We'll see.
March 13, 2005
Most everything that's been going on is in the please pray for me email I just sent out. However, some might need more explanation.
I just wanted to drop a quick note to ask for your prayers today (and Monday). I know many of you are on Spring Break like me this week and may not get this email for sometime. That's okay- there's plenty to pray for.
I've been having some health concerns lately and finally went to the doctor to get checked out. I've been referred to a GI specialist who is running some tests.
*Prayer request number one: I want to feel better.
*Number two: I don't want to pay a lot of money to feel better.
I got laid off from that awesome job at F.R.O.G. Theatre and my new job (lifeguarding) doesn't kick in until the middle of May, so pray as I'm mooching off my parents, web design, and babysitting. Also, taking donations j/k. (At F.R.O.G. Theatre I was Program Director. I booked live entertainment, rented videos, and managed the theatre, coffee shop, and deli cafe in the evening. It was AWESOME. I miss it...sniffle.)
So, on Monday 3-14 at 9am, I'm going to have a colonoscopy. (To learn all about this procedure, I suggest www.webmd.com as a resource as otherwise, I may describe things you'd be happier not knowing) They're going to knock me out, do the procedure, and send off the samples for biopsies. I'll sleep the rest of the day and hopefully return to normal on Tuesday.
*Prayer request number three: I've only had minor surgery once (wisdom teeth), and I did really well with the anesthesia. I'm more nervous about this, but I hope I respond just as well.
*Prayer request number two b: For a colonoscopy, my colon must be "cleaned out". Pray for this not fun process I will be enduring all day Sunday- I don't get to go to church even. Pray the preparation doesn't make me sick and is bearable as possible. Oh, and I can't eat anything all day Sunday, so pray for those who come in contact with me-like my mom- I'm gonna be grouchy!)
On the next Monday, the 21st, I will return to the doctor for test results and diagnosis and a treatment plan, as I DO plan to feel better. It is such a wide range of things that could be giving me trouble. It could be a simple food allergy (possible even chocolateahhh!) all the way to colon cancer. Or, any number of things in between with any number of treatments. So, pray. When two doctors both said, "Hmm, it could be colon cancer, but you're a little young" I had a moment you might say. But, I'm ready to feel better, so pray this lovely procedure will pinpoint the trouble and result in effective treatment.
*Prayer request number four: Pray for the doctor, Dr. Joseph, to have wisdom, knowledge, and steady hands.
In the midst of all this is D+R+A+M+A auditions. Due to not feeling good and requiring about 16 hours of sleep every day, I've not been able to work on advertisement or scripts as much as needed. I just had to trust God to get the word out His way, and so far, He has brought a few wonderful women to the team. But I need a few more, and a few males. I need people of all ages. (The team went on break after Christmas, and apparently, no one really wanted to come back. I'm not a good director, lots of doubts have creeped in, but God says keep going. I need to build a new team. It's insane and a lot of work!)
*Prayer request number five: Pray that D+R+A+M+A does not suffer while I'm going through all this and the exact team God needs to do His work would be built. And pray for finances of the team- we don't have any. Just pray for D+R+A+M+A. See our webpage, disciplesrunningaroundmadlyacting.org for details on the team's needs and summer plans. When I am weak, He is strong. FROG- Fully Rely On God. If I want it done right and worthy of His name, I might as well let Him do it. (But it's soooo hard!)
In the midst of illness and auditions, my great grandfather died. Not a tragedy, he was 93 and got to say goodbye for several weeks before going home.
*Prayer request number six: Pray for my family as they'll be traveling all over Oklahoma the next few days. The funeral is Monday, so I can't attend, but my mom is coming in Sunday night to be with me. Pray for travel safety and for family as they did loose a strong leader of the family.
Just to be ornery, our cats (Nolan and Ritalin) have been fighting and, uh, marking their territory in our house like insane critters. This morning, they broke the most expensive (and a 25th wedding anniversary gift) vase in our house at 6:30am just before my mom got caught in the middle of it. One cat, mine of course, latched into her leg and hung on while being swung around. So, mom's leg is all beat up, swollen, cut, it was gross. (My sister and I treated it like CSI. There was directional blood spatter on the walls, tuffs of fur from the cats, and broken glass to be attempted to be put back together. Yeah, we had to clean it up and make mom lie down and find the cats and check them over too. FUUUUNNNN way to start off spring break.)
*Prayer request Number seven Pray for my mom's sanity and her leg to heal. She has to drive a lot this weekend and then carry me around half asleep Monday. She's gonna be grouchy too.
And last but not least, with the job at F.R.O.G. being full time, D+R+A+M+A audition preparations, and this sick stuff, school has been almost completely ignored.
*Prayer request Number eight- the final one: Pray as I play catch up later this week and deal with professors next week. Most professors don't care why you're absent, they just knock off points. I've been absent a lot, but I have doctor notes (and cool hospital id bracelets). Hopefully, they won't deduct the full points. Pray for midterms, make up tests, and upcoming projects as we near the end of the semester. (Pray for history, theatre, sociology, and government.) And pray I graduate SOON (just gotta get the last 10 classes out of the way!!!) and get to move back to Fort Worth and get an apartment with my cat and have a life way better than that of a full time working full time college student with a health concern living in a small apartment in Denton <makes a face>, Texas.
I am ready to be happy, healthy and hectic. So, pray I get back to that, well, that IS normal for me!
Praises: God is taking care of D+R+A+M+A. My great grandfather was a believer, so it's not that sad. My mom is going through all this health stuff with me, as only a mom is willing to do. And I have friends like you who are praying for me (and telling me to take a day off and take care of myself.) Life isn't that bad right now, just some uncertainties, so just pray for me. Satan is attempting to attack, but I won't let him get me down.
And in case I don't get to say it later, Happy Resurrection Day!
"Because He lives, I can face tomorrow. Because He lives, all fear is gone. Because I know He holds the future. And life is worth the living just because He lives"
"Celebrate Jesus Celebrate! Celebrate Jesus Celebrate! He is RISEN! He is RISEN! And He lives forevermore. He is RISEN! He is RISEN! Come on and celebrate the resurrection of our Lord."
Ps. Pray for all of Wedgwood's Easter program plans that I'm trying to jump in and be involved in, with all my new time, but can't 'cause of the health stuff and drive time stuff. Pray for gas prices- oh my gosh!- and all that. I love Easter. It is my all time favorite holiday. And I really want to enjoy it to its full extent this year!!!
Email me!
redrosesoul@yahoo.com
I forgot to mention a couple of things. Matt moved to Korea for a year to teach English. Pray for him. Talitha is still in Tennessee, but she is trying to get her parents the much needed counseling they need. (Her little brother moved out to escape the abuse. They are in major need of prayer, too.) And I'm stuck in Denton. My life sucks.
Working at Wedgwood is fun! I just finished D-NOW with the 7th grade girls (who rock!) last weekend. I hang out with Jonathon and other youth workers when I can. Valerie and Morgan are two senior girls I'm suppose to be discipling (if they ever return a phone call!) So, I have friends and youth who rock surrounding me, now that I have time to spend with them. Life's better. I'm sticking to the singleness stuff- it's way better- despite all the marriage proposals. Ahem. Thanks for all the support guys!
April 25, 2005
Well, it's not time to update the journal just yet, but I asked a lot of people for prayer about my health. From the follow up emails I keep getting, it seems some of you might like a short update.
The diagnosis is Ulcerative Colitis. You can visit www.ccfa.org for a full description and more information than even I could handle. But, the gist of it is I have ulcers in my large intestine (aka colon) which is caused (some think, though they are not sure) by the body attacking itself, causing the sores. These sores get infected, which lead to the symptoms which I won't describe. Let's just say, it involves my digestive track and when it gets messed with, I'm not fun. There is no cure, just hopes for remissions that last a long time. I'm in my first flare up, so I'm on about 15 pills per day plus some non-oral medicines to get me into remission as fast as possible. My doctor is one of the best in this field, and he is a Christian, which I guess is cool.
How do I feel about all of this? Well, I cried for the first week I had all the medicines. I didn't feel good, I had swimmer's ear in my ears, allergies treated with a nasal spray, and an infection of my cervix. For 7 days, I was putting medicine in every hole of my body. Now, a few weeks later, I'm not putting medicine in every hole, so I'm more bearable. But, I guess I'm depressed about it, and very mad at God. I don't like doctors, I don't mind pills, but I hate the other stuff, and I'm afraid. I asked for prayers for complete, miraculous healing, but I'm afraid it will flare up again. I'm afraid one day I'll have to have my large intestine removed, which means they pull the small intestine through the skin and I poop into a bag taped to my side. I'm afraid one of my favorite foods will turn out to be a no-no food and I can't eat it anymore. But, I am most afraid that I won't live the life I dreamed of. Now, I know all the literature and even my doctor have stressed that people with U.C. live full and productive lives. Let's face it, they say that to people with cancer. Your doctor never outright says, "Sucks to be you!" even though he could. However, my fear comes from the fact that my life isn't suppose to be the American Dream. I'm not worried about how to tell the person I'm dating (I don't date), or marriage (not getting married), or sex (not married means no sex). I'm not worried about working the 9-5 job and getting that promotion. I wanted to finish college, get D+R+A+M+A under someone else's leadership, and head off to another continent and just go and live among unknown/unreached people groups. I was most interested in just migrating from Europe to Asia, and if I had time/wasn't inprisoned by anti-Christian governments, I'd go to Africa and work my way through that continent. I'd have little to no contact with home (no mail, no internet), but I'd write. I'd spread the gospel. I'd try to stay up with D+R+A+M+A and minister with them if we could ever hook up. My brand new life requires regular doctor visits, medication for the rest of my life, and the advisement not to travel for more than 10 days and only if in remission. That doesn't work if I want to be out where doctors don't exist, eating food I can't identify, and I can't refill a prescription at the local pharmacy.
So, I'm mad at God. Very mad. Heartbroken. Lost.
Um, other than that, I'm still in college (which I also hate), and unemployed and in great amounts of debt. Most of my life sucks.
Good things are school is almost over and my professors were great about make up work and tests. I will start working as a lifeguard for the Town of Addison again in late May, and I'll be teaching private swim lessons here in Denton for most of the summer. I've been teaching theatre for the Wedgwood Fine Arts Academy, which has been fun. I hope to get more students this summer and next fall. It's good money and it keeps my theatre and teaching skills sharp. D+R+A+M+A is up and running. We have several performances scheduled and actual donations coming in. However, only 9 females tried out, and only 5 made the team. All white female team. Not what I had in mind, but it's what I have to work with and will hope we grow throughout the summer. Hmm... Brittney is graduating in May. Matt's loving Korea. Talitha and William are getting their own apartment in late July, and (if doctor approved) I hope to go see them in August, before school starts.
So, my life sucks, I'm not happy but I'm faking it through. I hope my next entry is about a miraculouos recovey and a mission trip. I'd also like to win some free money (like the PCH $5000 a week for life superprize).
August 14, 2005
Well, it has been a while since I last wrote. Here we go...
I finished the spring semester with A's and B's. I'm not entirely sure how that happened, though.
My health is doing better- I feel better. But, I am still taking close to 20 pills every day, and I'm not symptom free yet. Then again, I may never be symptom free. I've resigned myself to believe this is probably as good as it gets. You can keep praying for a miracle,though, whoever reads this.
D+R+A+M+A had the never ending summer. It began with Beach Camp in June and ended with the Big Country Baptist Assembly at the end of July. Nothing went right all summer, though many of the actual performances were amazing despite the terror, stress, and agony of getting there. All summer we were short actors and very short on money. It's the never ending battle with this ministry- too many Acts of Worship and not enough actors who will committ and then follow through with those commitments. I realized at the last camp part of my bad attitude was coming from being too focused on needing to make money. So, D+R+A+M+A is on hold until all the debt is paid off. Unless some big bucks start coming in, D+R+A+M+A may not return for two or more years. I plan to have D+R+A+M+A perform at summer camps, sad to say, because camps is where the money is. I wish we could do more- I wish we could go to all the coffee houses and youth rallies we've been invited to. I wish we could do everything like I planned and how I want to do. But, I don't get my way. In order to one day reach the dream, I have to put my finances in order right now. Who knows what will happen to this ministry? Well, God. But He's not sharing. So, I'm putting it on hold until the debt is paid off and He gives some actual direction.
When I wasn't taking time for D+R+A+M+A, I was working as a lifeguard for the Town of Addison and teaching private swim lessons around Denton. I always said lifeguarding is the best job in the world. I'll probably be doing it until I'm at least 30. I only have a few more weeks of this summer left, though. I don't have a job lined up for fall yet. I hope to work at Martus Christian Bookstore, but she doesn't know if she will be hiring. So, I'm starting to put in applications around Denton. (The drive to Addison was nervwracking- now I want to work close to home.) I work in order to pay off the debt. My parents are great. They pay all my current living expenses AND for school so that all the money I make goes straight to the credit card. It's sad. I'm 22 and still living off my parents.
College starts again in two weeks. I hate college. Have I mentioned that? Well, I'm going to hate it even more this semester because I have to take Chemistry. I finally figured out why I hate college so much, besides the fact that I have to live in Denton. It's because everyone, absolutely EVERYONE around me is focused on the degree. On the grades. Silly me. I was focused on actually learning something. That's why I have so many majors. I want to know what they have to teach me. Throw in 3 science and 2 math classes, and the University will grant me 3 degrees and a teacher's certification. So, that's what I did. Three sciences and two maths so I can get that little piece of paper that says I went here and then I left. Wow, some people actually live for this stuff? Their lives must suck more than mine.
I didn't get to go visit Talitha and William. I don't have the money and they really don't have the time to play host. But, we talk at least once a week and I plan on seeing them soon. I miss Talitha very very much.
My biggest struggle these days is loneliness. I try to plan fun things, like movie nights and pool parties, but no one comes. And this isn't a pitty party. People had to work or go out of town, stuff like that. But, it always amazes me that everyone is busy at the same time everytime. So, I sit at home and watch entirely too much television, reworking my college class schedule, playing with my finances and budget, and cleaning. My apartment is spotless, just in case someone stops by. But, everyone has boyfriends, girlfriends, jobs, families, work,blah blah blah. So, I enjoy the cleanness. I can FIND stuff.
I am looking forward to co-coordinating the Holy HIp Hop 2006. D+R+A+M+A was a part of 2005's show, which was nothing short of disasterous, so I invited myself to help them. It'll probably put us back at FROG Theatre, where I use to work. I do miss being there, since it's such a cool place, but I think I got laid off at the right time. Between my health and D+R+A+M+A, they would have fired me eventually.
I'm working with the Wedgwood youth again. I was a teacher at Disciple Now, an adult chaperone for Student Life, and I'm discipling Kelsey. (I had been discipling Morgan and Valerie, but they graduated and left for college.) I hope to get more and more involved- Wedgwood always puts me in a better state of mind.
I'm pretty grumpy and pissed off most days. My family thinks it's a sign of depression. I think I'm just in a permanent bad mood because I don't have a reason not to be.
But, here's hoping this semester brings lots of friends, money, and fun things to do.
November 9, 2005
I have decided to use My Space blogs for online journaling from now on. This website will remain active and other areas updated regularly, but feel free to stay up on my life by checking out www.myspace.com/rosesoul. Or, here's an idea, just ask. Thanks to all my loyal readers!
Busy, busy busy. And that's a GREAT thing. Christmas and New Year's was so much fun. I got to return to Wedgwood for several services, Talitha and about 20 friends gathered for a New Year's party at my apartment (a nice, hot, lack of things to do kind of party, but fun), and then I jumped into school and- FINALLY- a job! 
